Friday, December 17, 2010

Sprouting


This is a grand pic of my very orange skin, against someone with a normal, skin coloured hand. Winter fruit, being Vitamin C and Beta Carotene rich, overdosing changes my skin alarmingly orange. I’m forever asked if I have jaundice or told I should wash my hands / face properly. :P In summer it SLOWLY goes back to the original whiter-then-death shade I usually am.

Bone Most Pit


Sticking to meat, what do you think of all this? It’s a huge open pit where customers can select their own rack of ribs! To a meat eater that must look so tasty but I must admit to me it’s kinda creepy, like a whole pit of death and dismemberment. Each to their own I guess?

The whole hog?


Now see when I first saw this large lump of meat all wrapped up in plastic, I figured it was a leg o lamb or beef or some other critter that didn’t make it, but closer inspection reveled... well lets just say if you look about mid-way you can see the tusk-like teeth, the top would be the snout… Yip it’s a full pig's head! I asked my housemate to buy it so I could remove the ears from the eye sockets and see what’s hidden there, but curiously, he refused… pity I would have let him have the teeth to suck on…

Wednesday, November 24, 2010

A little slice of heaven


Ah got to love a toy store with its airplanes, balls, rubrics cubes, knives, blades and assorted weaponry. It’s a nice variety to chose from for little Timmy's 6th birthday!

Optimism


This is a very hopeful sign I snapped when passing the local jewelers. It’s sort of like some one said, “I’ve like, had a total brainstorm man! Let’s tell people they can’t bring guns into the store and then like, hey, no one can rob us man!” Oh well, guess we’ll just have to stick with knives then?

Dem Bones


This, I think, might have been a dog once, but is now definitely a bone laced puddle of ugh! I couldn’t even begin to guess what it might have been in its heart beating days. What gets me the most is the fact that someone took all the teeth out of the skull! For muti? For decoration? To tell people how they fought off a vicious, but small toothed, mountain lion? Who knows?!

Tuesday, November 16, 2010

Wee hee!!


I often see these on my walk. This is a common water bottle but what’s inside it is sure as heck fire neither water, apple juice or lemonade!!! I suppose it’s easier then stopping your journey to find a bathroom? The foam though, that’s just wrong!

Sky's the limit!

Wowwy! Isn’t this something to look at? I took it early one morning just because the sky was looking so darn extra pretty! I took this one with blind hope. Literally! Because I couldn’t look into the sun without magnificently frying my eyeballs! And no, it’s not been enhanced, played with or given a new name and secret identity! This is straight from the cellphone to you! Isn’t it well, Wowwy?!

Left Feeling Horse


Just before I moved I went to go say goodbye to all my friends on the plot, including the horses in the field next door. I hope they don’t miss the occasional carrot and apple half I used to give them! Once I even used to pat them and scratch their ears but the neighbour built this annoying fence around them, and then added an electric fence on top of it, and have a few thousand watts course through my body well, fun though it might be, I should cut back…

Wednesday, November 10, 2010

Doggy swarm

The dog here on the plot finally had puppies and did she do herself proud! 8 of the little hooligans! You can understand why she looks so frazzled! They’re not my dogs, but I have had a grand time playing with them. (And getting various items of clothing stretched and torn by puppy enthusiasm). One died, one was kept and the rest sold, and suddenly the area seems almost too quiet.

No way to get ahead


This is all that’s left of a rat foolish enough to come frolic in our garden. The male German Shepherd has a particular taste for them. And people wonder why I hate it when he licks my hand!

A rose in any other house


Isn’t it lovely? I took this pic at a friend’s house of a rose I felt should be famous! Isn’t it an utter pity they don’t have ‘smell-o-vision?’ cause this lovely blossom smells as pretty as it looks! *Takes HUGE sniff!* LOVELY!!

Wednesday, September 29, 2010

Bloody heck!

Okay I did wonder if I should put this pic up but then decided, eh why not? (27 September 2010), I had the most awesome nose bleed! Now I’m no stranger to gushers but this one was just showing off! Even leaning over the sink, pinching nostrils wasn’t enough to stop it, it got everywhere and you must admit, it does look pretty dramatic! As it keeps going you seriously begin to wonder if you can die from blood loss in such a lame way! “Here lies Jovvi, her life flows straight out her nose!” >_<

Here’s to not having another one any time soon!!

It does say something about me that while still panicking about blood loss and such I could still stay calm enough to whip out my cellphone and take this pic!

Tuesday, August 31, 2010

Portal to a new world?


Now this was interesting. Where I was working, temping for two weeks, there where two of these panels that cover the windows into the woman’s and (pictured here) men’s toilets! Can you imagine the temptation sometimes to just swing it open wide while someone was in there and go, “HELLO! YOU GOOD IN THERE?” I suspect it would have made my job a lot more interesting if no longer comfortable…

The Bear essentials?

I got this little fellow at a sexpo a few years ago! See? Birds do it, bee’s do it, even leather clad teddies do it!

I tawt I taw someting tewwible!


Well, wonder what this person’s passion is? Personally I’m not into hydro-encephalitic birds myself but I must say you can’t help but admire someone who’s not embarrassed to take it to this level! I salute you…nutter.

Thursday, July 29, 2010

Run away with me!

We love this small, out of the way pet shop we visit sometimes, because of the sweet critters there! (As a pet shop itself it rather sucks ). There’s a standoffish squirrel you just want to sneak into your backpack, and two very bouncy, friendly little meerkats who love a good back rub through their bars! Just look at that earnest little face? Doesn’t it make kidnapping seem worthwhile?

Firey skies

Being on the plot we get some SUPER WOW sunsets! Isn’t this one gorgeous? Models, actresses and all their skeleton crew posse, wish they could look this good without enhancing ‘touch ups’! Natural beauty rules!!

My good Sir!

This is Professor Ham, or Proff H to his friends. He’s our little dwarf hamster, (cause seriously a home isn’t a home without a hamster, you know!). He’s a lively, curious little chap who tends to sleep throughout the day, waking only, and conveniently, when I’m in the kitchen making snacks. The cat finds him terribly interesting though they have yet to be formally introduced. (Owing to the fact that siblings eating each other is somewhat frowned upon here).

Thursday, July 22, 2010

Wednesday, July 21, 2010

Happy Teddy?

I suppose I don’t really have to comment on this one. But still! They couldn’t have put the handle a little higher up? I can just imagine the drawer getting stuck and having to yell, “Don’t worry, it will work if you give a good yank on the Teddie's knob!

Over troubled water?

I’ve been passing this bridge for years and wondering about it. Last Tuesday (20 July 2010) I decided eh, bugger it, let’s go see what it’s about. It’s a bit rickety and not exactly confidence building, (I walked across with my hands at the ready to grasp at the rails should the floor fall out at any give second!). The water below is not exactly deep, but it’s filthy and full of broken glass and just not an ideal spot for a sudden unexpected dip. I think I’ll carry on walking around this from now on…

Of cats and clementines

This is me showing the cat, The Finger of Justice! I do this when she’s being particularly wild and annoying. She understands it enough to know that it means trouble if she continues what she’s doing. Sometimes, when she’s very naughty, she will do a slow backwards somersault never removing her eyes from the finger. Yip, she’s an odd critter!

The second reason I put this pic up was to show what excess Vitamin C and Beta Carotene do to my skin in winter. Namely turn my skin an interesting shade of orange! (It’s very noticeable on my fingers, palms, soles of my feet, knees, elbows and, curiously, in a circle about my mouth.) Isn’t it odd?

Tuesday, July 20, 2010

Flushed

This is the hotel room Ursh stayed in when she went to Durban all by herself! The thing that gets me is that window showing you the “stunning view” of the bathroom! I mean, do they feel couples need to watch each other on the bog and what, shout encouragement? “You go honey, push! Push! I think it’s going to be a big one!!”

Diabolical

Diablo 2 is my favorite, and indeed only really, computer game I love to play! This pic is of my Amazon’s arrow annihilating a walking skeleton. The green thing is a chipped Emerald he will drop for me to add to my weapons paraphernalia! This game is very addictive; it changes each time you play it! (Basic missions are the same but the monsters and things you find along the way are as different as chalk and cheese! (And a bit more disturbing)). I can play for hours! Anyone want to join me?

Wuff!

The tales I could tell of the dogs I meet along my walk! Today let’s talk quantity!

A. This home has 6, yes 6, large dogs guarding it. I can’t tell what 5 of them are but the 6th is a black and white Great Dane, the others are only a bit smaller. Now this house doesn’t have a huge yard and it’s really not something you look twice at, so why all the dogs? I feel very sorry for the gardener guy who works there; he must be on doggy poop duty 24/7!

B. Photographing these dogs isn’t easy! They all go bonkers when they see me coming and tend to spread out in attack formation along the fence. Here you can see 4 dogs if you squint hard enough. The other 5 are along the wall. Yip in total there are 9 little dogs (2 Yorkies, 5 Dachshunds and 2 Terriers, from what I can tell). I’m assuming that 9 is the max number, there could be more! Can you imagine having so many dogs? I’d worry that one day they decide to swarm and take me down like a pack of small nippy wolf-wannabes!!

Wednesday, July 7, 2010

VrooooooooooooooKERPOW!

Tell me, when you see a wreck as bad as this one, don’t you think, What on earth did they do?! I love planning stories around car wrecks! The priest who drove off a cliff because of that choir boy thing, an angry wife road into her cheating husband, there was a spider on the dash board, who knows?

Loo-k!


I tried to give Ursh a new hobby. Collecting photos of public loos. For some reason it never took.

Why not just ride?

There are some stables close to where we live. They keep tons of horses there, crammed in like hay-smelling sardines. So it’s not unutterably unusual to see one of the guys out on a run with a horse following close behind. I always wonder what would happen if he tripped and fell before the horse could slow its momentum? Run Sipho, run!!

Wednesday, June 30, 2010

Sky high

For me, cloudy weather always makes the sky seem so much more awesomely huge and magnificent then just plain, clear blue, skies, don't you think? Look at the teeny tiny houses and trees! Mind boggling! O_O

Crispy

Always good to know where you stand right? This was a novelty sign at a café we went to. At least we hope it was a novelty sign… Hey Ursh, why does your burger have a bushy tail?

Me n ma machine!!

Now here is a guy with a story! Those pants, that tiny bike, that beanie, that gas can! Whatever was he up to?
p.s. Do you know how hard it is to take a pic of someone while pretending not to? ^_^

Saturday, June 26, 2010

Hi Jack!

Follow that Vehicle!!! Isn’t the license plate cute?

Shoo!

When you walk 5 hours a day, day in and day out you’re mad. But besides that, you tend to start playing games on your walk just for fun. One of my favorite is trying to find my footprints from the previous day. This is very tough as rain, other pedestrians and cars tend to obliterate them at will. It is always rather thrilling to find one!

Don’t you think it’s rather poetic to find this one right next to an old can of shoe polish?
And if you’re wondering, I wear soccer boots to walk in, comfie and great grip, hence all the little stud patterns.

Frosting

Well it might not snow in South Africa but when it gets cold it gets COLD!

A. Look how thick the frost is on Ursh’s car! You could practically scoop it up and make one, very foul , snow cone out of it! Our temperatures are always lower then the surrounding areas. If Benoni is 3 degrees, Germiston and Kempton Park will be 6 degrees! < - - if you’re not South African just know this is my way of saying “PITY US!!” ^_^

B. The windows also frost up and this is a rather…interesting, photo of one particular design that keeps reappearing on the passenger window (aka mine!) doesn’t it look like something that should be in the Blair Witch Project? Very occult! Those with good eyes should be able to see not just the goodies inside the car but a strange person looming in with her cell camera! Oh My!

Friday, June 18, 2010

Score you bastards!!


My goodness! Everyone’s watching the soccer!!

Feeling flushed?


This lovely looking shooter is known in some circles as a “Soweto Toilet” for obvious reasons. Made with a banana and chocolate liquor, it just seemed the right thing to celebrate the start of The Soccer World cup. Trust me, it smells a lot better then its name-sake!

Hat trick

My newest walk hat! (June 2010) And just look at the cheeky red devil! Happily showing its support for teams in the world cup soccer! Go SA, Go Japan!! Don’t you think it looks a bit like a wide-eyed, winking, red frog?

Monday, June 14, 2010

Kiddy Grade


I love this sign, it’s so open to interpretation! Beware Children? Sounds like if you’re planning on going into this complex, drive carefully as a whole pride of kids might descend on you, clawing at the windscreen and chewing on your tires!!
And no pets allowed right beneath it? Does that mean you’re not allowed to try tame, or keep as a pet, any of these wild kids? How unfair is that?

Monday, June 7, 2010

What's big, bad and pink all over?

Ursh and I play a game modified from the kids game of Punch Buggy. Basically when you see a buggy you cry, “Punch Buggy [whatever colour]” and it gets added to your score. At the end of the day whomever had the most won! (No prize but the grand feeling of being one up on the LOSER! :P)

Except if you were lucky enough to see a Pink Buggy! They’re so rare that they let you win the game automatically regardless of your total score AND you get to enslave your opponent for one whole day! (We weren’t very good at that part but it was nice to know the option was there!)

This buggy popped up a few months ago. We suspect it’s owned by some guy who inherited it from his Grandma and tried to use the spider motif to prove he’s “all that”
On the windscreen it says, “Driver Suicide”.
Oh my, how tough is Gran-Gran’s little boy then?!

Me wants Jo-burger!

Here’s a funny dog! It has little black marks above each eye that look like eyebrows and spazzy ears that don’t stand up straight but that flop inwards! It’s an awfully cute looking dog in general but it does seem to get rather mean and vicious when people stop to take a pic of it! (When it was younger there was chicken wire up and it used to pull on it with its bare teeth to try and get at you, hence me saying it’s cute LOOKING!)

Abandon all hope etc etc

Doesn’t this look like something out of a Sci-Fi movie? There should be aliens, or humans, walking around eating each other in this barren wasteland! But no, this is the open field next to us. All the grass got burnt so that it doesn’t cause a veldt fire in the winter. Here you can see all the frost from the morning caking it. To get an idea of how cold it was while I took this pic, try slipping an ice cube down the back of your shirt while you read this! Brrrr!!!

Adios Buddy!

Aaah my old walk hat! Recently it got a tear in it and I sadly had to retire it from active service! I’ve had it over a year and it’s a wonderful happy little hat. I hope it’s replacement will carry on the proud tradition!! Here’s to goofy hats and the people who go, WTF, to them!
CHEERS!!!

Thursday, June 3, 2010

Fists of Furry... I mean... Fury!

A. Ninja Jo! A force to be reckoned with! Doesn’t my fierce-some-ness just make you quiver in your boots? (Sandals or whatever footwear you currently possess?)
I love ninjas! As a kid I used to go through an entire YOU magazine colouring over everyone’s face, making them a part of my legions of Deadly Ninja Assassins! (I think I put a few pen manufacture’s kids through college, the amount of ink I used! ^_^)

B. See? Even sensible Ursh was lured into the way of the ninja! No one can resist!!! (And if you think that just looks like a biker’s balaclava, ha, shows what you know!!)

This is the link to my face book group about the secret life of us misunderstood martial artists!

http://www.facebook.com/?ref=home#!/album.php?id=689432512&aid=110997

Grrrrr

. A. This is our pre-teen kitten, Kitty. (Her name was originally Pandora but, like all our cats, she soon became accustomed to being called Kitty). She’s a pretty thing who knows it!

B. Not so pretty. This is her photo moments after having an anti-bug bath. I think her face captures perfectly exactly what her feelings towards bathing (And the people who insist upon them) actually are!! Poor wet Kitty! *Tries not to smile too hard*

Wednesday, June 2, 2010

Woof!

I pass this car all the time and in the funniest places! I often hear it coming a while before I see it. This is due to the fact that the bloke who drives it has 3 massive German Shepherds in the car with him. (One in front, two in the backseat), and they are forever barking! The upside is that no one is going to come within a few meters of this car. (I was so brave getting this photo!), minus side is I don’t want to know what it looks or smells like in there!

Doesn’t it look like the one dog is driving?
Dog 1: “Let’s stop here dear, I need to pick up some doggy chow!”
Dog 2: “Alright honey but get the chicken ones, remember what the doc said about your blood pressure!”
Dog 3: “Whatever! Just let me know when we get home!”

Paved with good intentions?


These guys are busy wrecking up, I mean work on, the roads here. I must say though that, unlike most road workers, they do seem to know what they’re doing and their patching is MOSTLY smooth. (The patching on the highway is so bad that you’re forever ramping up this or falling down that, so much so you need pills for Altitude sickness!)

And no, the shadow is not Darth Vader’s! It’s me in my walking gear and hat! I have not yet gone over to the Dark Side (Though they do have a great pension plan)

p.s. Don’t those shoes just make you wonder…?

Thursday, May 27, 2010

High on the hog


This house has two big dogs… and one big chubby pig! Do you know how hard it was to get this shot? First off the pig seldom lies in the driveway! Also the Bouvier dog, behind the pig, is usually up and snarling and attacking! I’ve been past this house a million times and still it barks at me, aggro hound….
The sign on the gate says, “Trespassers will be eaten!”
I’m not sure if that’s by the dogs, the pig or the owners themselves….

Keep on truckin'!


These trucks often come down our roads, carry huge bits of gosh knows what, heading for gosh knows where. When they’re this big the traffic on both sides of the road has to pull right off onto the pavement to let them go by. They often have a police escort who seem to take great pleasure in chasing the cars off the road! Like hyperactive sheep dogs before the farmer shoots them!

This is not so fun for pedestrians though, as cars pulling off the road seem to forget that we were there first! If I was a driver I’d watch out for pedestrians and never ride over them!! Can you imagine the pain it would be to have to clear bits of ped. out of your fender if you did?

Those ghastly dead eyes!


The monkey and the coat hangers! Sounds like the title of a very cheesy detective series doesn’t it? Or perhaps a pervy erotica story? These metallic creatures are sold by the robots all about Joburg. They’re basically rust held together by varnish and hope and bring much joy and tetanus to the folks who buy them.

The seller of these branched out recently and has started selling coloured coat hangers as well. I must say they look very pretty strung up together. At one point he used to put the coat hangers right in the middle of the pathway, but I used to just mow them down walking. The traffic there is just too thick to step into so as not to disturb the delicate balance of brightly coloured plastic wear!

p.s. Don’t you find the monkey creepy looking? Those empty eyes!! If I woke up and found one on top of me trying to suck my soul out I really wouldn’t be that surprised!!

Monday, May 24, 2010

Flagged down


It’s almost world cup time and the hawkers have put away their tennis balls, car shades and cheap watches and have flooded the sidewalks with flags for sale. Sometimes it can look rather pretty with all of them fluttering about merrily. Sadly the cars that get them placed in windows and antenna just tend to look tacky. But each to his own… bad taste.