Flaming bad idea

Saw this in an up-market furniture store window. I don’t know what all the fuss is about? It’s just a recreation of something I did as a kid with a cake pan, lighter fluid, some matches and the last few seconds of having eyebrows!

A warm feeling in your...

I love the name of this shop! Especially as it sells Adult Diapers as well as the baby sort! It feels sort of like they’re saying, “We know you’re aging, we can wait…can you?” It makes you so nervous you could pee your pants, which, of course, wouldn’t be a problem…

Right through!!

See what they do is they pierce your hand with a large needle, straight through the flesh on either side of the bones, blood everywhere, and then put a bar through the wound that has these large balls screwed on at either side…
Ok ok, I’m talking total BS!!
These are two ball magnets I got at the gem expo we went to a while back. It feels kind of freaky to know they are so strong they can still stick to each other through the meat of my hand!! (Mind you, after reading what I first wrote, suddenly it doesn’t seem quiet so bad…)

Nutting like a good moisturizing

"For snacks, salads, sauces and nut creams"
Nut creams?!

Straight up now tell me...

Well now see, I’m not so sure you should leave your manikin out on display when she’s butt naked and got a pole going up her… well…. I got a couple stares when taking the photograph, so appreciate it!

De-feeted

Sigh, my shoes are brutal on my socks. This is a war victim that didn’t make it. A moments silence please. Oh but before that, isn’t my nail polish nice?!

Tongue twisted

See now this is just cruel! You’ve got some bloke with a stuffy nose and coughing and all the flavours of flu, who comes into the pharmacy and then still has to try and pronounce that? I’m sure just getting the whole word out just once will probably take you so long that by the time you do, you will be feeling much better already!